Being happy for others... Part II

This is a follow up post to the one the other day on how it was a bit of a struggle to 'be happy for others' who were enjoying success. Having written that piece it then formed part of a meditation / reflection I had a day or two after. This revealed further thoughts about this 'being happy for others' that had been omitted from the last blog.

This was also partially inspired by a podcast I was encouraged to listen to by Nikki Pepper which was about 'Anxiety and Depression' with Johann Hari and Dr Rangan Chatterjee (2 hours but well worth it).

On deeper reflection I think when I am struggling to 'be happy' for others it is more to do with the intent or motive behind the success. If the motive is to 'be better' than others, to somehow be superior and 'show off' then this is where my difficulties begin to arise.

This came up in the podcast, what Johann called 'Junk Values'; Money love, Materialism, Popularity or fame. Much of soci…

Self service checkouts stealing jobs...

I've read quite a few posts over the last yearcomplaining about supermarket self service checkouts. These posts have been anything from a simple: "Don't use them" to forcing supermarkets to reinstate the regular checkouts with actual people serving customers. The reason for this blog post is not just about supermarkets, but the trend it highlights regarding the unrelenting progress of technology and the inevitable contraction of 'jobs' and resultant decline in spending power of a population with less money.

Differing perspectives
Times are changing of that there is no argument. The checkout situation above of course is right in our face every week when we pick up groceries. But of course we are all participating in the same kind of decline in regular retail as we switch to Amazon and huge online companies. Who do you think is responsible for the reduced customer numbers on the high street? ... Although a number of factors involved, this is much less obvious, b…

Being happy for others...

There have been many challengesin my personal development that have been huge taken years to overcome. When I say overcome I don't mean that they have been consigned to the rubbish bin never to show their faces ever again either.

What I have found is that with personal growth we become more adept at spotting what we want to improve, and through reflection faster and faster at identifying what has happened. That ego is a clever fellow, but very necessary, as our influencer and soul mate on the journey. Our ego knows us so well, perhaps when we truly make him / her our friend and not our "guide" we begin to see a different path.

Some of the most difficult challenges I have faced are those when squaring up to the ego and looking him straight in the face... These include, comparing myself to others, trying to be better than those I associate with, "love" of money (not just the need, that is part of today's society as it stands) and proving how successful I am (…

Waste not want not

This is a saying that my father often spokewhen we had some food that was left over or perhaps when food was a little bit substandard. My father was a keen gardener and when you have laboured with love over your vegetable patch loath are you to dispose of that food, if remotely edible!

Lately I have been very fortunate to receive an abundance of food thank Steve Z. Skowyrski for that. It would appear that Xmas is a time of abundance in food stores, but so is the danger of stocking the wrong things.

Carrots were a big over stocked item this year so it seems with literally 100's of kilo's finding their way into the "past sell by date" category. Now there are only so many carrots you can eat isn't there? ... well I have seen some impressive substitutions going including Carrots instead of tomatoes in chilli or spaghetti bolonaise. I've had my fill of carrot juice as well... I think I'm taking on an orange tinge now! ... substitute for tanning products?

So thi…

What do you hold most dear to you? ... your values

Over the festive period I read a post about values.I must admit it's an interesting topic and it got me thinking about my own values (for my life) and what is important to me... and also about the things I am involved in, and perhaps what the values of those organisations might look like.

Why would we bother with values?
Well... I think deep down inside of us we do have a set of values that we believe in. They might be things that pop into our head and we confirm them to ourselves, or when we are being asked to make a decision we ponder what we believe is the right path even if we believe it might not be the best for us in the short term.

To actually think about our values in the first place is a start. It's a bit like setting boundaries or a "modus operandi", something we won't be compromised on, or that gives us direction when the way forward is unclear.

My own personal opinion following some internal reflection is that I believe I have some good values, that a…

What are you fearful of?

What are you full of fear of? That's a slightly different question isn't it, but maybe it helps to re-arrange the words and place the emphasis differently.

Many of us wouldn't identify with being fearful of that much nowadays; except the usual, spiders, snakes et al. In reality though fear is often right at the centre of our lives and decision making.

As it turns out there is quite a lot we can be fearful of.......

Fearful about what people will think?
This is at the root of a huge number of issues in society today, and is getting worse by the year. This is becoming an epidemic that is stifling and goes right back to our own beliefs about ourselves. Much of the time we're wearing a kind of mask that we're happy to be seen in public with. If operates as a kind of shield that we operate behind. We share ourselves in accordance with the mask as this is a safe accepted place and we can't get into much harm behind there.

People expect us to behave in a certain way …

The Need to Need & the Need to be Needed

This blog post has been prompted by Brené Brown's book Rising Strong. In this book Brené discusses that we all need to need, and we all need to be needed. At first sight this is a bit of a mouthful to get your head around, however here goes...

From my youth and growing up with my parents I have countless examples of where my father would extol the benefits of being Independent. Don't rely on anyone, the more you can do yourself the better. It seemed like good sense to me, dad was decorating, gardening, wiring, building things, making things with wood... with a friend of his he put in central heating, with his bother he built a conservatory, and, on his own landscaped the entire garden... As a role model for a young kid growing up, he was definitely walking his own talk. Independence it is then I reasoned!

So for a good few years that's the way I played it... you could actually see his younger version in me as I proceeded to become a capable decorator, gardener, even wiring…