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What are you fearful of?

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What are you full of fear of? That's a slightly different question isn't it, but maybe it helps to re-arrange the words and place the emphasis differently.

Many of us wouldn't identify with being fearful of that much nowadays; except the usual, spiders, snakes et al. In reality though fear is often right at the centre of our lives and decision making.

As it turns out there is quite a lot we can be fearful of.......

Fearful about what people will think?
This is at the root of a huge number of issues in society today, and is getting worse by the year. This is becoming an epidemic that is stifling and goes right back to our own beliefs about ourselves. Much of the time we're wearing a kind of mask that we're happy to be seen in public with. If operates as a kind of shield that we operate behind. We share ourselves in accordance with the mask as this is a safe accepted place and we can't get into much harm behind there.

People expect us to behave in a certain way …

The Need to Need & the Need to be Needed

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This blog post has been prompted by Brené Brown's book Rising Strong. In this book Brené discusses that we all need to need, and we all need to be needed. At first sight this is a bit of a mouthful to get your head around, however here goes...

From my youth and growing up with my parents I have countless examples of where my father would extol the benefits of being Independent. Don't rely on anyone, the more you can do yourself the better. It seemed like good sense to me, dad was decorating, gardening, wiring, building things, making things with wood... with a friend of his he put in central heating, with his bother he built a conservatory, and, on his own landscaped the entire garden... As a role model for a young kid growing up, he was definitely walking his own talk. Independence it is then I reasoned!

So for a good few years that's the way I played it... you could actually see his younger version in me as I proceeded to become a capable decorator, gardener, even wiring…

Amazing things happen when you leave the house...

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I was having a discussion the other day about conversationswe have with ourselves inside our own heads. The discussion was with regard to the times we have agreed to go to a networking event and are now reconsidering as we prepare to get ready.

More important things have cropped up now which demand my attention (have they?), it will probably will be a waste of time anyway (will it?). I have been known to be incredibly creative in conjuring up reasons for my non attendance, I have a huge repertoire. However... In the end the one thing that makes me go is that I said I would. If I say I would go, then, unless, it is something life threatening I am going to be there... no matter what. It doesn't stop the mind chatter having a go though, but I just dismiss it now as a simple matter of course.

Before I launch into my storyand the reason for this blog, I am a firm believer that when we say yes to something we did so for a reason. I am a big believer in "Gut Instinct" and "…

31st October is a big day for transitions...

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The 31st October 2019 is the scheduled date for the UK to exit the European Union.The start of a huge transition for millions of people in Europe but it could also be the beginning of a huge transition for you too... 

On the 31st of October "we" are travelling to mainland Europe, in fact central Europe, the beautiful capital of Hungary; Budapest, for a 4 day compact retreat. (ends 4th Nov.)

The retreat; co-authored by a collaboration between Victoria Hart, Viktoria Duda, and myself is designed to lead us through the elements of Transition. Many of us find ourselves at some point in our lives at a crossroads where our siutation has changed and we're not sure what to do...

Situations such as :-

Decided you want to leave the rat raceGoing through a divorceChildren leaving homeMade redundantGoing from a job to working for yourselfBetween jobsRecovering from a trauma
Whatever the situation it is likely the first time you have embarked upon this path. You may feel disorientated …

To text or not to text that is the question

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I've been a fan of Textingas I am sure most people have been since those early days of 10p a text I think it was once... 

Today there are hundreds of ways of messaging people... Text, WhatsApp, Messenger, Twitter, linkedin, Hangouts, Skype, Pinterest, Instagram... and that is just scratching the surface with the most popular ones. Often if you receive a message and don't catch the notification you can be wading through the apps trying to find the message.

Like Email; an absolutely amazing innovation when it first appeared... you could send a message anywhere in the world to anyone pretty much instantly... before that it had been 5 days in the post, or expensive phone calls, or... telegram... now I'm going back!  ... telex anyone, facsimile was also there in the mix but way more expensive than email which is FREE! (-ish)

But what has this instant communication actually done?
A lot of the naysayers will immediately say that it has stunted communication and no one talks to an…

Political decentralisation... the next step after Brexit mess?

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With the Local Elections around the cornereyes are drawn away from Brexit for a moment. 

These local elections are being earmarked as a barometer for how the electorate are responding to the fiasco in downtown Westminster at the moment. Except... as soon as the Brexit extension was agreed, the place was vacated; Easter holidays!

Local elections have typically had a much lower turnout than General Elections. Seemingly less significant somehow and yet... it is the people on the ground locally who act as councillors that have the illusion of power in our own communities.

But ... maybe times are changing?
With central politics in real chaos, the party system failing miserably, what we are maybe witnessing is the collapse of a dinosaur... a prehistoric animal fighting for life as its world begins to disintegrate around it.

The basics of the government world still persist as virtual armies of civil servants continue to keep the wheels turning, whilst the self serving (not all), ego driven, …

Where next with Brexit?

I didn't vote in the referendum about Brexit, and have oft been chastened about this as a result. The main reason I did not vote was because either outcome was likely to be filled with discontent amongst great swathes of people and the agenda behind the referendum being offered had nothing to do with the vote itself.

We are in a right pickle and no mistake. 2 years later and the date to leave the EU long gone and we look no nearer to solving the puzzle than we did the day after the referendum results came in.

This referendum has caused such a deep divide amongst the people of this country it might never get resolved in some quartersThis referendum was actually designed to settle the EU debate once and for all and went horribly wrong when the expected result was not returned. It has since gone on to be a catalyst to question the very approach to politics in this countryA result which the majority in 'the house' never expected and don't actually support anyway... and yet …

High self esteem is not the end game...

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I've been on a good few personal development coursesthat have shared how we can see whether we have high or low self esteem...

I can confess that having started to be aware and recognising the 'symptoms' of low self esteem it is at epidemic levels. You can actually fairly quickly run through your list of contacts pointing out those with low self esteem, so obvious it becomes, when you know what to look out for.

However I was watching a video by Eckhart Tolle about self esteem and ego... and it was interesting in that there was some deliberation about the state of the mind when we have high self esteem.

High self esteem basically is about feeling good about yourself but mostly in comparison to others around you. So if we have more qualifications, are better at some things than others... a bigger car or more beautiful house... then this feeds our self esteem and confidence.

This growing of our own self esteem however comes at a price... the reducing of another's self est…